WATCH | Rugby player Sbu Nkosi opens up about his darkest mental health battles
· The South African
Rugby player Sbu Nkosi is finally opening up about his pain and personal battle, mourning the loss of his infant twins, in an interview with Darian Ducci on the podcast Off The Pitch Rugby.
Sinking under the pressure of having to go straight onto the pitch after his children died in 2022, Nkosi chose to take care of himself as a man before taking care of the rugby player.
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Without telling anyone his whereabouts, Nkosi disappeared, and most feared the worst when weeks passed with no trace.
“What actually happened?” asked Ducci.
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“I had been going through a very, very tough time mentally, which had started pretty much back in Durban. I went through a period where I had lost my kids,” Nkosi responded.
“You know, I had two beautiful twins birthed, and you know, a little after birth, they both passed away, and I just had to be back on the bandwagon and playing rugby on the same weekend, so I never really got a chance to process it the way that I needed to process it,” said Nkosi.
“You know, I think it’s something that’s very hard for someone to understand until they’ve held their own cold baby in their arms, you know. It sent me on a spiral, you know, to a point where I actually became physically sick,” he explained.
“Most of it started with that moment, very, very heavy moments that I still feel with the same intensity today. It wasn’t a very good decision for the rugby player, you know, but for the person to remain alive and living, I think it’s a decision that I had to make. I’m very, very sorry. I was just in a lot of pain, and I wanted to finally find a way to fix it so that I could move on.”
Watch the full interview below: