‘180-Dating’ Is the Anti-Ex Dating Trend We All Need After a Nasty Breakup
· Vice
If you’ve ever been through a difficult breakup, you might have had the urge to date the complete opposite type from your ex. Apparently, there’s a term for this dating trend: 180-dating.
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Here’s what you should know about 180-dating—and whether it’s a positive choice for your post-breakup expenditures.
What Is 180-Dating?
180-dating involves getting out of a breakup and choosing to date someone who is a “180” from your usual type.
“You know your type on paper, and you know the kind of person who checks off all of your boxes,” says Julie Nguyen, a certified dating coach at Hily Dating App. “But when you go for an outlier, someone who is a 180 from what you usually know, it can introduce possibility back into the space and open you up to something you may not have considered before.”
This is especially common after a breakup, when the last person you want to think about is your ex. So, instead of seeking someone similar to them, you go for the complete opposite—in terms of age, personality, appearance, and more.
“As a matchmaker for 30 years, I have seen these trends come and go, and it typically occurs after heartbreak or divorce,” says Sandra Myers, co-founder and president of Select Date Society. “The thought of anyone similar to the person who broke your heart causes singles to flip the script, and not only by dating someone younger but, many times, someone whose demeanor and physical appearance are contrary to their ex. It opens the door to partners who would never have been on their radar before.”
In many cases, 180-dating specifically describes going for someone younger than your typical age group. For example, maybe a woman who just got out of a relationship with an older man decides to do a “180” and pursue a man a few years younger than her. This can bring an entirely new energy to her dating life.
“Singles might go for someone younger because it can make dating feel more exciting, optimistic, and fun again,” says Nguyen. “There’s a different level of play to it, and it doesn’t have to feel serious unless you want it to be. Sometimes that shift alone can make dating feel more expansive.”
Is 180-Dating a Positive Trend?
Depending on the intention behind it, 180-dating—like most dating trends—can be both beneficial and harmful.
“This trend comes with challenges and breakthroughs,” says Myers. “If you’re being honest with yourself and are operating with good intentions, it may pay off. If you’re reacting out of fear or disappointment, it may cause you additional issues with the new singles you’re considering. They may see you as disingenuous if you don’t find a way to connect with them on some level.”
However, pursuing someone outside of your type—regardless of age—can allow you to explore options you might not have otherwise considered.
“Love is bigger than the imagination of one person,” says Nguyen. “Going on dates that tease out different expressions of who you are and take you outside of the usual scripts you would normally run on dates can be quite impactful. Sometimes the person who doesn’t make sense on paper creates the space for you to discover something about yourself that you wouldn’t have otherwise.”
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