6 Dating Red Flags That Might Not Actually Be Red Flags, According to Experts
· Vice
A red flag used to mean something serious, like a guy who screamed at servers or a woman who keyed her ex’s car. These days, someone can get written off for wearing socks to bed or saying “lol” too much.
Dating apps probably haven’t helped. Researchers at Tilburg University found that people became pickier the more profiles they saw, with their likelihood of accepting a match dropping 27%. A 2025 study also linked getting “the ick” to perfectionism and other personality traits. So before you write someone off, here are six things that might not be as bad as they first seem.
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1. They Agree With Everything You Say
Your favorite band is their favorite band. They share all your opinions and never seem to care where you go for dinner. It’s possible that you’ve found someone insanely compatible, or maybe they’re still nervous about disagreeing with you. Some people just need time to get comfortable speaking up. Writing in Psychology Today, therapist Duygu Balan asks, “Who are they when they’re not trying to make you happy?”
2. Their Ex Is Still Their Best Friend
Some people make better friends than romantic partners, and there’s no reason they can’t stay close after breaking up. They might have known each other for years before dating. As long as that friendship has reasonable boundaries and you’re not constantly coming second, it doesn’t have to be an issue.
3. They’re Moving at Warp Speed
By the third date, there’s a toothbrush in your bathroom and an invitation to Christmas dinner with their parents. Sure, it’s a little much, but some people have a hard time containing their excitement when they meet someone they like. If they’re happy to slow down when you ask, there’s probably no reason to panic.
4. Every Ex Was a Nightmare
It’s entirely possible that someone really did date several awful people. And if they’ve been hurt, they’re probably not going to have glowing things to say about those relationships. What you want to pay attention to is how they talk about their experiences once you’ve gotten to know them better.
5. Their Family Is Complicated
A complicated family history isn’t necessarily cause for concern. Some people have parents they haven’t spoken to in years, while others talk to their mothers every single day. You probably have a relative or two who drives you insane, so give someone a chance to explain their situation.
6. They Joke About Being Terrible at Texting
You can be interested in someone and still forget to answer their texts. It happens, especially when work gets busy, or you set your phone down and don’t look at it for hours. Pay more attention to how they treat you in person than how quickly those three little dots appear.
Everyone has a few habits that could irritate someone they’re dating. Give people a chance before deciding every little thing is a reason to walk away. Chances are, you’re doing something that drives them crazy, too.
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